Chesed shebe Tiferet
Lovingkindness within Harmony
Tuesday evening May 7 and Wednesday May 8
Why Job? Why today? I’ve been working it out for almost 15 hours now, and am sharing these words only after counting the day.
Malchut of Gevurah
Nobility within Strength
Monday evening and Tuesday
Evening May 6 and Day of May 7
Some teach that malchut is the most important sefirah. They say that in malchut God doesn’t act by God’s self, but through us and that malchut is the goal God had in mind when creating the world.
That isn’t my personal theology, but I respect it and it helps me to stretch and think this way. What if it were? What if malchut is God’s existence and God’s actions resonating along our veins?
What if Rabbi Regina Jonas is Jewish royalty?
Yesod of Gevurah
Bonding and Connection within Discipline
Sunday evening and Monday
Evening May 5 and Day of May 6
Yom HaShoah
“Did you know that the clock over Buchenwald doesn’t count time?” asks Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie, quietly. He hands me a yellow candle.
“I didn’t,” I murmur. “Not until just now.”
Netzach of Gevurah
Determination/Endurance of Discipline/Justice/Boundaries
Friday evening and Saturday
Evening May 3 and Day of May 4
A elderly woman whose name I’ve never known comes up next to me and takes my arm. I slow my pace to match hers. We exchange pleasantries and then . . .
“Where is Zelophechad?” I ask after her husband.
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Ten Days of the Omer
Tiferet of Gevurah
Harmony/Integration/Beauty of Discipline/Justice/Boundaries
Wednesday evening and Tuesday
Evening May 2 and Day of May 3
“Well,” I say, “Are we walking toward Sinai to be closer to God? God said come close, but not too close. Are we walking toward Sinai to be closer to each other? I don’t even like all of these people. For that matter, I don’t even always like God. Are we walking toward Sinai to be closer to the Torah? Have you read the Torah? I mean, I love reading the Torah. I love our stories. I love our words. And also . . . have you read the Torah?” I know he has. I know he knows what I’m talking about. Two kids, I mean, they may as well have been kids they were so young, who just want to be closer and closer and closer to this . . . Eternal . . . this Divine . . . this Everything . . . get it in their heads to offer something they came up with themselves. I’m sure they thought it would be extra special. I’m sure they thought they’d feel more and know more and see more and be more. They wanted to soar with eagles and swim with whales and instead they burned with fire.
“I know,” he says quietly.
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Nine Days of the Omer
Gevurah of Gevurah
Discipline/Justice/Boundaries of Discipline/Justice/Boundaries
Gevurah is also Strength
Wednesday evening and Tuesday
Evening May 1 and Day of May 2
I’ve secretly always wondered what Rebecca saw in him.
In Isaac.
Well, it was a secret.
Now you know.
Chesed shebe Gevurah
Somehow I’m caught in the midst of a bustle of bodies in intense conversation . . .
In the crush of priests, two voices rise over the others. One brings up Ramban, Nachmanides, and says, ‘We are taught by the Ramban that justice and lovingkindness are a combination of fire and water, which is to say, salt. And salt, as we know, sustains all the worlds.’ ‘But this is false!’ His walking companion disagrees amicably. ‘The main purpose of God, the main purpose of the world is Chesed!’
Malchut of Chesed.
Sovereignty of Loving-kindness
On this journey to Sinai, we are walking with all of the Jews who have ever been and who will ever be. That means we are also walking together, you and me and everyone alive and here now.
Yesod of Chesed
I would love to talk about this with Abraham, but he’s wandered a bit from the group. He does that sometimes. You wouldn’t think it to look at him, but he walks fast and often ends up near the front. Then he stops and just . . . looks. I don’t know at what. Do you? I only have ideas of what he might be seeing that the rest of us don’t as he gazes across the expanse.
I wish I could remember his name.
I definitely remember his face, and while I can’t say I’d recognize his long black coat or his black hat or the way he walks anywhere, I do recognize him here.
I know that’s him. Just over there shifting his bag to the other shoulder.
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Four Days of the Omer
Netzak of Chesed
Determination of Lovingkindness
Erev Shabbat/Shabbat
Evening of April 26 through April 27
I wonder if they still dream of water. After 40 days and 40 nights of rain, 150 days of flood before the water receded I think even all these years later I might still dream of water. Water as endless as this desert. On the other hand, walking through day 202, 150 days feels . . . different. Sighing heavily, I notice that Na’amah has linked her arm through Noah’s and she is regaling him with a story. With her free arm she gestures dramatically and when she pauses he chuckles. It’s a very Jewish chuckle and it carries over the din of people walking and chatting.
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Tiferet of Chesed
An older woman has joined us. She has joined us only for this day; she is walking beside Sarah. The weight of their story seems to cling like pendants along their spines. There isn’t ease between them, they have history. They have bitterness and insult and jealousy and harshness and enslavement. Their gaits are a little stiff, but most of all not rushed as they walk together.
I wish I could hear what they are saying.
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Day Two of the Omer
Gevurah of Chesed
Boundaries/Discipline in Lovingkindness
I’m thinking about Yitro, Moses’s father-in-law and priest of Midian. I can see him there, just ahead of us. His eyes are sparkling as he walks with Caleb and Joshua. It’s hard to say what they might be talking about, but I think Joshua is . . . laughing? Yeah. He’s definitely laughing.
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You are enough for this story . . . you are an omer.
And me, too.
And this day?
This day is an omer.
This day is enough.
This first day.
Day one.
I am both obligated by tradition and personally dedicated to the work of justice; it is work without end. I remember that Shabbat is coming, and this day is an omer. It is enough – exactly enough – to accomplish the work that is my job to do in this one day. And then I bless. And then I count.
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